dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
