I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
