ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
