he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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