he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
