I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
