So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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