mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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