need another drink. this is the easiest way
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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