there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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