i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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