Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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