Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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