This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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