Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
