Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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