Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
