You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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