just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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