NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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