like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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