just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
