Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
