Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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