we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
