yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
