He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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