i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
