Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize