your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
