I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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