It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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