Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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