Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
