Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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