Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
