My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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