Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Let's paint friendship bongs
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
