She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
