I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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