my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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