i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
