it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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