if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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