I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
