apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
