Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
