So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
