i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
