I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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