It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When are your genitals available?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
