One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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