Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
