i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
