We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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