While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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