I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10