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• (713): View more from Texas

  We need to get cat food

  (713): View more from Texas

  Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  I thank god almighty everyday

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.

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