Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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