Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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(919): View more from North Carolina

They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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(630): View more from Illinois

Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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(207): View more from Maine

She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.

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(630): View more from Illinois

There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.

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(903): View more from Texas

His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.

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(585): View more from New York

There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.

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