yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
