Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
