toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can tuck mytits in my pants
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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