Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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