fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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