shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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