Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
