There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize